A Kenyan Wedding
June 29, 2011
On Saturday, May 14, 2011, we were guests at a Kenyan wedding. We wanted to share some of our experiences so you can know a little more about Kenyan culture.
The wedding was to start at 10 am but Kenyan events are notorious for starting late. So we arrived at 10:30 am just to make sure the event that we didn’t have to wait too long at the chapel before we began. The service was held in the chapel of our Bible school because the groom is one of our students. At 10:30 the preparations were still being made and the wedding party was far away. We do not know if a dowry was paid but this is still a common occurrence in Kenya. We took time to walk around and see what was in store. Outside the chapel two giant white tents has been erected. The wedding banquet was to be served under the tents. One was for the wedding party and one for the guests. In the chapel colorful streamers were affixed to the walls and benches. A large banner which read “David weds Florence” was hanging from the wall. The worship team from the local church was setting up. It was only 10:45.
Thankfully we had books to read because the wedding party didn’t arrive until nearly 12:30. They had rented one van and borrowed three other cars from people in the community. The cars were elaborately decorated and horns were blowing. The wedding part stepped out with the women wearing brown dresses and the men black suits. The procession began with eight flower girls. Then there were twice as many women as men (8 to 4) so each man escorted one women to the front then went back to get another. Instead of walking down the aisle slowly as we do they danced all the way to the front.
When the bride came in the congregation stood. She was wearing a beautiful white dress. She met her groom at the front and the service began. The actual ceremony was very much like ours in the US except there is no kissing. The groom and bride simply shake hands. After the ceremony the worship team led in some congregation songs and then Kevin was invited to preach. After the sermon and some final comments from the service leader the wedding party danced out of the chapel and into the yard outside followed by the ministers (we just walked).
After being seated a few people stood to make speeches as pictures were being taken. Then everyone was served a traditional appetizer of grass seed and peanuts. Both were roasted and salted and very tasty. The grass seed was to represent longevity in marriage because once grass takes root it is hard to remove it. The peanuts represent productivity in marriage because once two peanuts are planted, they produce many more peanuts.
The meal was chicken, beef, rice, and vegetables all cooked together and served with a warm bottle of coke. It was very tasty. While we were eating the call for gifts was made and those with gifts brought them directly to the couple who opened every item in front of the congregation. Gifts included mainly household items and money. However, animals are also acceptable wedding gifts. We attended a wedding last year where the bride was presented with a cow.
A cake was cut but unlike American weddings, we were only served a tiny piece as cake is a rare and somewhat expensive treat. Each person got about one spoonful of cake. Finally at 4:30 we were released to go home.
Although some of our western wedding traditions are creeping into African culture, they have managed to retain some of their own traditions. Unfortunately, many young Kenyans are feeling pressure to have weddings that match ours in America in every way. They are spending huge sums of money and bringing about financial distress to meet these expectations. Others, even within the church, feel that weddings have become too expensive and are opting to a just live together without ever having a Christian or legal ceremony. We want to combat both of these attitudes and promote legally and church recognized weddings that are relevant to the culture and to their financial standing.
As the pressure to have large, expensive weddings grows in Kenya, we are praying that those seeking to get married spend more time planning and developing their marriage and relationship than their wedding.
